He Loves You Not
by toujourspret
Summary: 1x2--Hilde just doesn't take a hint! How is Hiiro going to get her away from his man?


HE LOVES YOU NOT.  
---  
by rinoastar  
song by Dream  
---  
Categorization: Songfic, shonen-ai  
Archive: PRAORPOARI, any that ask  
Warnings: OOC, shonen-ai, Hilde bashing  
Pairings: 1+2, 3+4, R+D  
Disclaimers:  
I don't own Gundam Wing. I don't own Dream or their song. Please don't   
sue me!  
---  
lyrics in seperate sets  
'...' indicates thought  
"..." indicates speech  
---  
  
Give it your all girl, give it all ya got.  
Take your chance at a second hand shot.  
  
---  
Hilde watched Hiiro flirt with Duo, an Akane Tendou-like   
battle aura beginning to surround her. She decided to go over   
and do something about it. Duo was laughing loudly, his mouth   
open and eyes alight with humor. Hiiro was quietly smirking at   
him, his own indigo eyes glimmering in the dusk light.  
The angry girl with violet hair stormed over to the   
happy couple. She lay a possessive hand on the braided boy's   
arm, trying not to notice Hiiro's, wrapped firmly around his   
waist. "Konnichiwa!" Hilde chirped, determined not to look   
jealous.   
"Hilde! Long time, no see!" Duo grinned. He brushed  
her dark hair from her face and tugged at her beret.   
"Duo, " Hilde said slyly, encouraged by his light   
flirting, "will you come to the movies with me Saturday?"  
"Oh, yeah! There's a new gory flick I've been dying to   
see, and Q-bean and Tro can go to that sappy love flick that   
just opened yesterday. Wuffie won't go, but Hiiro would!   
Whadda ya say, Hii-chan? Gory or mushy?" Duo turned to Hiiro.  
Hiiro smirked with knowledgeable eyes at Hilde and   
replied, "Mushy. Wanna come with?" he offered to Hilde. "I  
was planning on bringing it up later, but thank you for doing it  
now."  
Hilde's eyes smoldered as she pasted her 'happy-face' on  
and smiled sweetly. "No, thank you. I wouldn't dream of   
interrupting the bonding between comrades. But why would you  
want to go see that movie? Why not go see the gory flick, and  
I'll catch up with you guys afterwards. You mustn't put   
yourselves out because of me!"  
---  
  
Say what you want girl, Do what you do.  
He's never gonna, gonna make it with you.  
  
---  
Hilde, Katherine, Dorothy, and Relena sat comfortably in a  
tearoom, sipping green tea and talking about the war. Katherine,  
Relena, and Dorothy trailed off into a conversation while Hilde   
daydreamed about Duo.   
". . . so do you think he likes him?" Dorothy's question  
caught Hilde off-guard.  
"Oh, yeah. There's no doubt in my mind. He is my little   
brother, after all, " Katherine laughed lightly and sipped her  
tea. "It's mostly a matter of does he have the guts to come out   
and say it, and will he tell us. "  
Dorothy shook her head in awe. "You're taking this   
awfully well, aren't you?" her ice blue eyes were dancing in  
anticipation. "I mean, I always thought that you wanted to   
protect him in all possible ways, and a romantic relationship  
is definitely one of the most dangerous, possibly most painful  
things to get into."  
"Oh, I trust the other guy. He's a perfect gentleman,  
and should he ever prove otherwise, he's small enough that I   
can strangle him and hide the body, " Katherine giggled.  
Relena smiled and shook her head. "I know I was a little  
surprised and somewhat hurt when Hiiro told me he'd rather be   
with a boy than me. Then, I thought about it, and he always did  
strike me as a bit fruity, you know?"  
Dorothy crowed with laughter. "The 'Perfect Soldier'  
'fruity'?" She laughed and laughed. "You must be joking! He's   
the most positively UN-'fruity' person I've ever met!"  
"No, really, what kind of guy wears shorts that can cut   
off circulation year-round? And spandex? I thought that kind of  
cloth went out of style hundreds of years ago!" Katherine giggled.  
"But seeing him in jeans . . . " she raised a hand to fan herself.  
"I know!" Dorothy chuckled. "And your brother's a good  
one for that, too!"  
"And Wufei has a well-built chest, " Relena added shyly.  
"How would you know that?" Dorothy asked curiously.  
"Well, he's bad about changing before looking to see if  
anyone's around, " she ducked her head, blushing. "I didn't   
even stay after he got down to his boxers. They're kind of cute.  
Dragons and pheonixes. Just don't tell him I told you that. He'd  
kill me, even if Hiiro won't."  
The whole crowd laughed. Finally, Hilde broke in, "Hiiro's  
getting on my nerves. He's constantly moving in on Duo. I think  
Duo thinks they're just friends, but Hiiro thinks they're more.   
How can I keep him from flirting with my boy?"  
Dorothy's forked eyebrow rose delicately in a quizical   
expression. She looked just like Trieze when she did it.   
Katherine tilted her head to the side and looked her over.   
Relena just looked confused.  
"I can't tell if she's joking or what!" Dorothy mused.  
"I know. I wonder . . . " Katherine shrugged.  
"The poor thing's delusional!" Relena burst out.   
"Delusional!? Who are you to say anything about   
delusional, Ms. I-Want-a-Homocidal-Maniac-Who-Happens-to-be-Queer  
-to-Come-Kill-Me-Now! I swear! The stupidest things I've ever   
heard in my life were, 'Hiiro! Come and KILL me!' and 'I was meant  
to be killed by you,' " Hilde exploded.  
"Well! I never . . . " Relena started, then thought   
better of it. She continued in a sweet tone, "Maybe it wasn't   
Hiiro who turned gay? Maybe it was Duo who turned him!"  
Hilde's jaw dropped. Dorothy giggled in the background, and  
Katherine was choking on her tea. "Duo is NOT gay! Maybe you   
turned Hiiro!"  
The sound of three teacups shattering on the floor echoed  
in the room. "E-excuse me?" Relena shook.  
"Don't speak to Miss Relena like that, " Dorothy lay her   
hand on Relena's arm.  
"That was a bit out of line, " Katherine admitted through  
her giggles.  
"Ugh! I'm out of here. Katherine, you can keep your 'Oh-  
so-talkative' queer little brother, and Dorothy, you can keep your  
'Oh-so-self-righteous' queer little girlfriend!" Hilde huffed,   
standing up and leaving.  
---  
  
Pulling petals off a flower trying to get your way.  
Keep pulling til' it says what you want it to say.  
Girl you can pick a field full of daisies,  
But he'd still be my baby.  
  
---  
Hilde sat at Duo's kitchen table, waiting for her braided  
friend to come home. She picked a daisy out of the bouquet on the  
table and pulled the petals off one by one.   
"He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me  
not, " she said aloud, tossing the mutilated flower behind her into  
the pile of murdered flowers. "I think I may be overreacting. That  
card didn't mean what I thought it meant! Of course not! Why would  
Hiiro send Duo flowers? And thanking him for a wonderful time? Why,  
they must have went on a mission for Sally Po and Duo had to   
crossdress. Hiiro's just rubbing salt in the wounds. They didn't go  
out on a date!" she smiled to herself before tearing another of the  
flowers Hiiro had sent out of the bouquet and ripping it to shreds.  
"Hmm. Maybe I'd better get this mess cleaned up before Duo  
gets home. He might be a little upset!" she stood up and began to  
sweep the petals and stems from the floor, and straight off the   
balcony.  
---  
  
Instinctively, I know what you're thinking,  
You'll be giving him an open invitation,  
But my baby won't be taken in.  
  
---  
Hilde giggled to herself as Duo repeated for the umteenth   
million time that Hiiro was going to be on a business trip that   
weekend. Of course, it wasn't the REAL Duo; it was a copy of   
the transmission in which he had first told her.  
"Ah, this is my chance!" she clasped her hands and fell  
down onto her couch. "That braided psychopathic schitzophreniac  
will be mine at last!"  
"Mine mine mine mine mine, not yours, " she sang to a   
photograph of Hiiro with his arm around Duo. "Waidaminute . . . "  
She grabbed the picture. "Oh. they're friends. They can hug."  
She sat up and dropped the picture when she heard a key   
turning in the lock. It landed with a dull thump on the carpeting  
and she hissed. "I thought you'd break!" she snarled at it under  
her breath.  
Duo swung open the door, and stopped when he saw Hilde.  
And gawked. "Hi, Duo!" she bounded over to him. "We haven't   
been spending a lot of time together, so I thought I'd come here   
and greet ya when ya got off of work!"  
"Uh, hi, Hilde. How'd you get in?" he suspiciously   
checked the windows and balcony.  
"Oh, I still have that spare key left over from when you  
moved in!" Hilde chirped.  
"Remind me later to change my locks, " he muttered to   
himself. "Ah, Hilde, how have you been?"  
"Oh, fine, thank you, Duo! Everything has been going   
great! How have you been? How are all the other pilots?" she   
chattered along, not really caring about them.  
"Fine. The guys are doing well. T-man and Q-bean got   
together recently. They're really into this relationship thing.  
Q-bean's practically picking out china, and T-man's creating a   
dowry, I think, " he replied. Seeing Hilde's vague expression,  
he added, "And pink bunnies have become the new Gundam Pilots."  
"Oh, that sounds great. I'm so glad for them . . . Huh?  
Pink bunnies? Duo Maxwell! And Trowa and Quatre are . . . ew!  
Don't you ever worry that they're going to jump you or something?"  
Hilde scrunched up her nose and made a face of distaste.  
"I half wish they would! I wonder what they're like   
in bed . . . " Duo smirked as Hilde nearly turned purple. "But   
just because they're into each other doesn't mean they're into   
all guys. I mean, you're into guys, too, and you don't jump   
every guy you see. You haven't jumped me!"  
'Takes a lot of self-control not to, ' Hilde mused,   
frowning. "I guess you're right. So has Hiiro found the man  
of his dreams yet?" she cattily remarked.  
"Yeah, I guess you could say that, in a way, " Duo   
vaguely answered. "Hey, Hilde, I'm gonna take a shower. Do   
you mind going home and coming back tomorrow?"  
Hilde was disappointed, to say the least. "Alright,  
Duo. See ya later!"   
---  
You can pout your cherry lips,  
Try to tempt him with a sweet kiss.  
You can flutt your pretty eyes,  
He ain't got his hands tied.  
---  
Duo sighed with relief as Hilde finally left him alone.  
"Man, Hii-koi was right. That girl *is* obsessed! Now, I just   
wait for Hii-koi's gift to arrive . . . he said that if it   
wasn't here when I got here, it'd arrive soon." He stood up and   
went out to the balcony of his apartment. It was close to the   
Tokyo Tower and he could see the flashing lights atop of the   
ancient building. It was no longer functional, a museum of days  
when information was passed through radio waves instead of   
satellites. As he looked down on the people leaving, he saw a   
mess of white petals on the ground below, and a card caught   
between the railing of his balcony, at the bottom as though it   
had almost been swept off.  
He picked it up and read it.   
/To Duo,   
/Thanks for the wonderful evening. It was magical.  
/Hiiro/  
---  
  
No chains to unlock,  
So free to do what he wants.  
He's into what he's got.  
He loves me, he loves you not.  
  
---  
'Hiiro's probably keeping him there through blackmail!"   
Hilde said angrily as she snipped the picture she was cutting  
with a viscious clip. She daintily picked it up by the edge   
and carefully pasted it onto another photograph. Hilde held  
the new photo up to the light, examining it for realism.  
In this new picture, Duo was holding Hilde in his   
arms, with the other pilots around them. Hiiro's face was marked  
out with an 'x' and Quatre and Trowa's faces were scribbled   
out. Just for good measure, and because Hilde didn't like  
the significant looks he gave her Duo, Wufei's face was drawn  
on, and a construction paper dress adorned his thin frame.  
She turned to a picture of Relena and Dorothy. She   
took the cut out picture of Hiiro, from the picture she had   
cut the Duo picture from, and glued him in behind Relena, making  
it look like he and Dorothy were fighting over the aristocrat.  
Hilde photographed the photo again, to create a smooth, glossy  
copy, and went to work on the blackmail letters.  
---  
  
No matter what you do, he's never gonna be with you.  
He loves me, he loves you not.  
  
---  
Hiiro frowned as Duo explained to him for the third   
time what Hilde did. "Just change your locks and tell that   
psycho bitch to leave you alone, " he stated reasonably.   
"Easy for you to say, Hii-koi. She's not stalking you!"  
Duo snapped.  
"You seem to have forgotten Relena. I still find bugs  
when I'm cleaning house. I've been through it, and that's all  
you can do, short of killing her, " Hiiro smirked as his   
boyfriend pouted.  
"Fine then, Hii-koi. You're helping me get new locks.  
Meet you at True Value in ten minutes, " Duo said, before   
turning of the vidphone.  
They met at the hardware store just as planned. They  
searched all over the store for new locks, but still couldn't   
find any. "Excuse me, Ma'am, but where are your replacement  
locks for doors and stuff?" Duo asked a passing saleslady.  
"Oh, someone came in earlier and bought them all.   
We haven't any left; I'm so sorry!" she told him and   
disappeared down another isle. "It's so strange too; no one's  
ever bought four hundred doorknobs at one time before."  
"That's too bad. Y'know, that girl was kind of   
familiar. Have we met her before?" Duo asked Hiiro. Hiiro  
shrugged and they left.  
As they left the store, Hilde turned down the isle for  
home improvements. A girl with longish mousy hair turned in   
with her. "You were so right. He is cute, but not as cute  
as the guy with the funny bangs in that picture you showed me, "  
the girl told Hilde.  
"Thanks, Sharla. It really means a lot to me, if   
it'll keep that conniving whore away from my Duo, " Hilde   
told her friend. "They didn't even bother coming down this  
isle. There's plenty of doorknobs and locks here!"  
---  
  
You're the kind of girl that is always up for do or dare.  
Only want him just because he's there.  
Always looking for a new ride,  
The grass is greener on the other side.  
  
---  
Duo leaned over the table in his apartment, talking on  
the vidphone. "Q-bean, man, you don't know what it's like, having   
a deranged stalker after you, one that tries to do anything to   
keep you from being with the one you love. Hilde has to be   
stopped!"  
"I suppose you're right, Duo-chan. Dorothy wasn't quite   
a stalker, although how she recognized me from my fighting style  
alone still mystifies me. Stalkers tend to leave us alone, you   
know. The prospect of some forty hulking men beating the stuffing  
out of you for peeping at their 'Master Quatre' is enough to keep  
any wannabe stalkers at bay, " Quatre chuckled. "Trowa seems   
to think he has a stalker, though."  
Trowa leaned over his lover's lap and stared Duo in the   
eyes. "Have you ever met Trixie?" he asked, a slightly frightened  
look in his emerald eyes. Duo shook his head, wondering what could   
scare his comerade, who had faced down hundreds of perverted   
mercenaries and more mobile suits than he could count. "You don'  
wanna." The tall boy shuddered and Quatre laughed, patting the poor  
boy's head.  
"She's just lonely. She doesn't understand that he's seeing  
someone!" Quatre said reasonably. Then, he looked thoughtful.   
"Maybe I DO have a stalker, of the bad kind! You know, I've been   
recieving hatemail from someone, and my secretary caught a letterbomb  
headed right for me!" the little blonde mused.  
Duo's eyes widened. "It was Trixie!" Trowa cried defiantly,  
from somewhere, and Duo didn't care to know where, in the silk nest   
of Quatre's lap. He was certain that not all of that white silk was  
their sheets . . .   
Quatre giggled and stroked the patch of brown in the mess of   
white. "Was not, To-chan. You're paranoid."  
A soft springy sound was heard in the background. Duo   
watched over Quatre's shoulder in their picture window as a blonde  
woman with no small degree of insanity in her eye bounced up into   
the window, then down out of sight. Then she bounced up again, and   
down again. She continued to bounce up and down as Duo searched for  
his voice, to tell his best friends that someone was in their window.  
"Oh, Trowa! Trowaaaaaa!" she yelled, her voice loud enough  
to be heard through both the thick glass of the window and the   
vidphone. Quatre's eyes widened and Trowa buryed hiimself deeper   
into the blankets, resulting in a coo from Quatre and an indignant   
yelp from the madwoman bouncing in the window.  
"Oh, it's Trixie! She's our neighbor, Duo. I'll go open   
the window so you can chat with her, " Quatre merrilly chirped,   
standing up and revealing his nightclothes to be an enormous white  
silk dress shirt of Trowa's. The little blonde threw open the   
window, narrowly missing Trixie, who was pressing an ear to the   
window to hear their conversation. As soon as the window opened,   
she pushed Quatre out of the way and forced her way into the room.  
Trixie stood, looking a bit dissheveled, at the edge of the   
bed in a slinky dress and heels. Quatre looked out the window onto   
the trampoline that she had bounced up on and pursed his lips.   
Then he shut the window and turned back. Trowa, meanwhile, was   
trying to hide inconspicuously underneath the tangle of sheets, but  
Trixie flopped down on top of him. Duo snickered and Trowa gave him  
a Hiiro-esque death glare.  
"Ah, I was just excerising on my new Bounce-o-Matic sports   
trampoline and Oops! Next thing I know I'm up here and I can see in  
your window! Fancy that!" she giggled coquettishly and Duo nearly   
collapsed into gales of laughter at Trowa's horrified expression.  
"A-anou, Trixie, your trampoline is rather close to our   
house. Maybe that's why you ended up being so close?" Quatre   
suggested, beaming sunnily.  
Trowa politely snorted and tried to squirm away from the   
lead press crushing his ribs. "Maybe. I don't know WHY something   
like that would happen. It's almost as if I WANTED to get up here!  
In such a skimpy outfit as this? I'm absolutely mortified!" Trixie   
fluttered an embarassed hand in front of her face.  
"Riiight, " Duo snickered and Trowa glared at him. "Well,   
I can see that you've got company, so . . . I'd better be going.   
It's RUDE to talk on the phone when someone's visiting . . . " the  
braided boy laughed to himself and turned offthe connection. As the  
image faded away, Duo saw Trowa flip him a bird and try to shove   
Trixie off of him.  
---  
  
You're the kind of girl who's not used to hearing no,  
All your lovers try to take you where you wanna go.  
It doesn't matter how hard you try, you're never gonna get with my guy.  
  
---  
As a last attempt, Duo had called Wufei to ask him what he   
should do. The Chinese youth had suggested that he take Hilde out   
on a date and break it gently to her. Duoo decided that it was a   
pretty nice thing to do, and seemed relatively easy, so he setled for  
the idea.  
Right then, Duo was wishing he'd shot himself in the foot,   
and Wufei too, for his stupid advice. He should have listened to   
Trowa, who'd suggested packing her in a box with no holes to Siberia.  
Hell, he could have settled for sending HIMSELF in a box with no holes  
in it to Siberia. Hilde was making this 'date' an evening from Hell.  
"Duo, dear, you have no idea how lovely this evening is to   
me! I've kind of been wanting this for a while now, but I always   
figured that our friendship had to come first. I never knew you felt  
the same way!" Hilde gushed, holding her hands beneath her chin and  
moving her stockinged foot in his lap. He squirmed away from the   
offending appendage, but it found its way right back to his crotch.  
He was seriously considering shoving a fork into her little foot.  
Hilde continued to blather on about something, and Duo felt   
like he would rather yank his braid out, hair by hair, than listen  
to her drivel. Eventually, she stopped and stared at him with a   
sick look on her face.  
"Hilde? You okay?" he asked her, worried that she was   
going to be ill all over the table. If he was paying so much for   
both of their meals, he'd be damned if she threw up all over it   
before they could enjoy them.  
Hilde nodded dreamily and Duo's mind caught up with him.  
'Oh, shit! She wants me to kiss her!' his brain screamed at him,   
and he instinctively shrank back. She blinked at him for a minute  
before finally sitting back.  
"What am I doing wrong? Duo, I've done everything I can   
think of and you still don't take the initiative. Who would have   
thought you were so shy? Well, then . . . " she said, leaning   
over their table and kissing him firmly. His eyes widened and he   
tried to push her away, but the spectators were cheering and the   
whole thing seemed to encourage the overenthusiastic girl. Finally,   
just as the world was beginning to fade at the edges and the colors   
darkened, she let go. He gasped for air and glared at her.  
"Hilde, what the Hell was that?" he demanded. She shrugged  
and blushed. "I've got a boyfriend, Hilde. This was all, " he guestured  
to the things around them, "to get you away from me. I was trying to   
break it gently to you."  
"So what does this mean?" Hilde asked. "I mean, we can still   
be friends, right?"   
"Yeah, we'll always be friends, Hilde, but I'm not interested."  
"Aa, but I'm always up for a challenge!" she grinned. He   
shook his head and left the restaurant, paying the bill at the counter in the  
front. Hilde pouted and folded her arms over her chest. "Did he think I was   
joking or what?"  
---  
  
No chains to unlock,  
So free to do what he wants,  
He's into what he's got (that's me)  
He loves me, He loves you not.  
No matter what you do, he's never gonna be with you.  
He loves me, he loves you not.  
  
---  
~OWARI~  
Saa, I couldn't find a way to end this fic! It's turned into the attempt at comedy   
from Hell! I hope this is at least a little funny.   
Trixie is on loan from Lorena Manuel. If you even sort of thought that the part   
featuring her was funny, you should definitely read her fic "Trixie." It's hilarious;  
the first line had me rolling.   
Sorry to any Hilde fans out there--I really killed her character in this fic! Imagine   
that--a Relena sympathetic fic that bashes Hilde . . . Aa, I mumble. Feedback   
craved like Trowa needs Quatre's smile! ^.^ 


End file.
